The Goat pub: Bounced

As a relatively giant yet unqualified person who loves to hang out at bars, bouncer was an obvious career choice. I grew up on mean streets of the city, tried my hand in crime and after an unpleasant experience while mugging a couple, I let it all go to be a bouncer at the goat pub. It was a standard irish club with a choice of whiskeys, dark irish beers like guiness, good music, some food. It was rarely full, maybe on big party nights and big football games. Aside from tussle or an argument here and there, there wasn't much to do. I occasionally checked IDs to avoid underage drinkers. If someone got too drunk, I would escort em out. I liked it a lot, in fact I developed a crush on one of the bartenders - Sophia. She was spunky, full of life, around 5'6" in height, blonde, and slightly broader than your average girl, not fat. She had a Tiger tattoo on her shoulder and dragon tattoo on her thigh, she usually wore black mini-skirts and crop tops. I loved talking to her during, before and after our shifts. 

One day I got way more dressed up than usual. It was St. Patricks day, a green themed holidays when Americans wish they were Irish and justify binge drinking. I wore a black shirt and black pant with a green hat to greet customers. I saw Sophia in green crop top and black leather pants - She was looking like a million bucks - and maybe today, of all days, I must muster up the courage to talk to her "Hello", annoying female voice filled the air when I saw a girl showing me her ID "Kate" and extending her hand for an entry stamp. I was so lost in thought, I said "sorry" and stamped her, didn't even check the ID. She did a "huh" disapprovingly and walked with gusto inside the bar pushing me a bit with her shoulder. Attitude on this crop top and shorts clad brunnette. The night went on, and I kept an eye. No chaos, except this attitude brunnette "Kate" was loud, obnoxious, and drawing too much attention. She threw a bet around for people to beat her in pool or buy her a drink. She wiped the floor with like 6 dudes and 3 girls as she chugged one dark beer after the other. 

She was oozing so much confidence that I didn't pay attention to Sophia for the first time since I started working here. She danced with guys after guys, made out with two guys at once,  and disappeared for a while - which I took it for probably having sex in the bathroom. 5 minutes later, the music stopped as I came in and saw some commotion. The girlfriend of one of the guys found out Kate was being intimate with him and was making a scene as he tried to control her, she threw a bottle to Kate's face. Kate was wearing the said man's blazer, as a trophy or maybe she was cold. As I saw things getting out of hand and ran to interfere. Kate simply caught the beer bottle, laughed and chugged the remaining beer as the girlfriend kept being hysterical. Kate finished the beer and spun the beer bottle around in her hand before breaking it against the mid section (I know right , who does that , what does she have in there a phone or something, she is so stupid drunk, could’ve got hurt) , making it a weapon and the girlfriend or the guy was scared shitless and went silent. She and him walked right off the bar, as Kate yelled the music to start again and threw her broken bottle in the trash. 

I came to her and said "Mam, you have to leave". She laughed in my face and leaned on the bar and asked for another drink. Sophia gave a look which said throw her out. I leaned into her to intimidate her and  said again" Mam, you must go ...". She again giggled. This was annoying, I grabbed her wrist to escort her out which she twisted out of and grabbed my hand, I pulled back and she won't let go, I tried again and she just nodded her head. I tried to get her grip off with my other hand as she casually reached for a beer that was for someone else and sipped it, and chugged it - and yelled "thanks honey" Sophia saw her holding my hand now and gave me a confused look before she got interrupted by someone who was waiting for the drink that Kate chugged. I gave a look of reasoning and said "OKAY OKAY , let it go, I'll let you go" She laughed out and let me go. This was so freaking embarrassing. Atleast no scene was made - but I am hired to throw her out. 

She turned around to face the bar, I guess to order another free drink and before Sophia gets to know what a wuss I am. I grabbed Kate in a bearhug from behind and picked her up. I started walking towards outside. She said, "urgh let me go, you freaking perv". I replied "Mam, I asked you to leave before". She said "Oh you are so not the bouncer here" as she struggled in my arms, I was struggling myself. When she folded her legs up in a sit up. She threw her legs towards the floor, the momentum made me bend down such that she was standing. She reached back with her arm and grabbed my neck and jumped up in a sit up again and again threw her bodyweight towards to the ground making me leave the ground as she crouched. I fell (bounced) over her upside down, my head faced her legs, she was still crouching and threw a punch straight at my nose, I couldn't see. The music stopped as the commotion was clear. It was my guest out of control. I got up and rubbed my eyes to see clearly as soon as my vision cleared up I saw a punch heading straight to my face and too late to stop it, and another and another, I lost my balance and fell to the ground. This was bad. 

I got on my side to get up when a kick in the stomach made me face up and be on my back again. another kick in my stomach knocked some wind out of me. I saw the crowd around watching my giant 6'4" manly self getting my ass kicked by this young drunk small lady. I got up quickly and saw her ready in a fight pose. I threw a slew of punches and kicks , she dodged em all .... but the kick. The kick landed.....

Yet, instead of her getting pushed back, I felt like i kicked a wall and bounced back. She smiled coyly and took off the blazer revealing her freaking awesome core. She flexed it and made another fighting stance. Fights are usually over in the mind. I saw her come close and throw punch as I started trying to run away from her defensively as she chased and hit me. She threw a punch punch kick combo and got me on the floor again, took a glass from one gentlemen and chugged his drink as I got up. She then came close and slapped my neck and punched me straight in chest bruising a rib or so, she grabbed my shoulders and swung back on her back bouncing me in the air behind her. She got up and took another guy's drink "Is anyone gonna call the cops" I said out loud as I tries to evade her when she caught me again dragged me against a wall and started dishing out punishment so severe, my ribs were so bruised and my organs felt like they were in a mixer. She got me on my knees and started throwing lefts and rights as i spitted out some blood with all those well cooridnated hits at the alter of this woman. 

She staggered back, maybe because she was so drunk. She staggered back to me and ran into me with her mid section. Her abs are sooooo hard I felt like that was a harder hit than all those hard punches as my head hit against the wall (maybe softer than her abs). I yelled in pain. She laughed, and kept on doing it two-three times until she grabbed my head rather gently and I shook it “no” crying and begging. I didn’t want her to ram my head into her solid steel like core. She gave me a sympathetic look and shook her head and then threw it away from her and and rammed it into her abs again making an orgasmic laugh - I passed out instantly. 

A splash of beer got me as kate slapped me awake after what I presume was her chugging another free beer. “I wanted you to be awake to see what it feels like” she said . I replied with my limp tongue “what feels like”. As she reached down under my butt and put a hand around my back . She deadlifted me all the way in cradle without a grunt and adjusted me on her shoulder such that my legs were hanging behind her shoulder, my chest was just above her boobs. My hand , yep - touching the most dangerous abs of all the time. I saw everyone watch me being beaten and carried by this petite woman, Sophia gave me a look of pity but continued her work - as she got me all the way out to the parking lot. 

Cop cars showed up and asked her “Mam, is there a problem, we got a call that there is disturbance here”. I was about to say “why are you asking her, she is the disturbance” . She said “no officer , just bouncing - another day at work". I looked at em in shame and disbelief. I yelled "Officer", and then it sunk in - she had all the power, I was a 120kg, 250 lbs 6'4" dude beaten black and blue by this spunky young woman, even being this drunk and then being in her powerful arms. They'll never believe me. I just let out a "sorry" as I stayed in her arms as she completed her conversation. They asked if the bar wants to press charges and she said "No, I handled it". She didn't put me down throughout that 15 minute or so conversation and she was sturdy as a rock, she lightly tapped my head into her rock hard abs once in a while making it hurt but not too much.

Cops left. As she sighed, and walked a bit more, she took a lot cigarette from a guy who was smoking and took two drags. She was so powerful, she could just take things from people - either they won’t care or fight her I guess - and that didn’t work for me so. All this power talk in my head made me very turned on . she said “bingo - found a puddle”, and extinguished the cigarette on my butt . I felt a lil burn as she said “ready” and bounced me into the puddle as I landed with a splatter. 

She said I am the bouncer now …. And walked back drunk dancing a lil. There goes my job, self respect and chance with Sophia....